Before the Storm
by Syzeria
Summary: Who knew caring about the ones you love could turn out to be so difficult? - Thoughts on the beginning of Advent Children and my ideal backstory.
1. Routine

I hope you enjoy this (as always), and I beg of you for a review (as always). By the way, this is based on the song Here Without You by Three Doors Down. Result of a song getting stuck in your head.

* * *

**Before the Storm**  
by Syzeria

**Chapter I_  
Routine_**

_A hundred days have made me older  
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face..._

He was overwhelmed in darkness, and the pain in his arm made his knees buckle. He glanced around with turns of his head, but nothing could be seen in the blackness. Even a floor beneath his feet couldn't be seen. Though, he thought it existed.

_Did it, really...?_

His left arm was suddenly attacked by pins and nails and hammers. He felt as though something hard and unnatural was pounding against his bones, making him wince and suck all the air he could to keep himself from screaming. Cloud vowed to never scream, not even here.

Screaming only proved you were in a bad situation.

Cloud's right hand burned the second it touched his left arm and Cloud rammed his fist into his mouth to block his urge to cry out – or make pained grunting noises. _This hasn't happened before, _he wondered amidst the pain.

An expected sharp breath broke the chillingly silent place, and Cloud released his fist and lifted his head toward the sound. He staggered forward blindly while trying to avoid any quick movements of his broiling arm. A sob rang in his pounding ears and Cloud closed his eyes, stopping for a second, and sighed. He'd heard that sob before.

So many times before ...

Cloud saw the small figure far away, sitting curled up with its arms and legs pressed together. As Cloud stepped forward in agony, he saw pale skin under black clothes. Crying and unsteady breathing was heard so clearly as Cloud shuffled faster in hopes of ending this as fast as it could. He cringed slightly with every hurried swing of his left arm. Beads of sweat stuck to his forehead and the golden spikes floating above his eyebrows as he made an immense effort to ignore the queasiness in his stomach.

Cloud stood three feet away from the figure. The pain in his arm seemed to have subsided as a new pang hit his hammering heart. The pang, the guilt, felt like a dagger, piercing him ever so slowly. He moaned in his head.

"Tifa ..." he breathed feebly. His vision was becoming blurry.

Cloud staggered forward, reaching out unthinkingly to touch the heavy hearted woman. But, as he outstretched his hand, he was halted by an invisible barrier. He felt a vibration from under his black glove that stopped at his collarbone and his surroundings began to change. Cloud stood on a flat layer of thick metal, the rooftop of the Seventh Heaven. He ignored what he stood on and sighed tiredly. For an abrupt second he couldn't see.

Cloud banged his fist strenuously against the invisible barrier, but the irritating obstacle didn't give way.

Cloud didn't expected it to.

He rested his hand on the barrier as his surroundings continued their revelation. All around him, stars sparkled brightly and a small crescent moon appeared on his left. Cloud remained ignorant as he stared at Tifa through tired eyes.

"Tifa ..." he murmured hopelessly. Tifa wiped her eyes hastily as she stared at the moon, oblivious to the man behind her.

"Where are you?" she whispered, desperation plaguing her voice. "Why did you leave us?"

"Tifa ... please ..." Cloud begged, her echoing words scratching against his chest. He knew what was coming next.

Cloud began stepping backward. He looked down at his feet and tried halfheartedly to stop. Despite his effort to move closer to Tifa, he continued to back away from her, stepping closer uneasily to the edge of the rooftop.

The woman staring at the moon began to fade into the looming darkness. He didn't remember the roof being _this_ long before ...

The pain in his arm intensified and he could no longer ignore it. He grasped his arm in spite and gasped in anguish before he let go. He quit resisting the unimaginable force that was separating him from Tifa entirely as he watched her disappear from his line of sight.

Only Cloud's faint wheezing and panting were heard for a moment, but even that stopped. Then, a string of distant words echoed in the air.

"_Are we not enough for you ...?"_ Tifa half-sung, half-cried the words.

Cloud stepped passed the rooftop. He reached out hopelessly to grab the edge, but his surroundings disappeared around him. He began to drop, but it felt unnaturally slow. It couldn't even count as falling.

Cloud dropped through the darkness, unable to act. An image of Tifa, Marlene and Denzel filled his mind. What he saw was blurred, a faded image of the family he left. "Denzel ..." he breathed as he continued to fall into nothingness. "Marlene ..."

"Tifa," he moaned before opening his eyes. His colbat blue eyes flashed to his surroundings as he took in reality.

His back was stiff and his arm throbbed as usual. But tonight was still different somehow. Worse somehow.

It took a moment for Cloud to remember why.

It had been exactly one hundred days since the time Cloud left his family. Almost every night since his departure he's had the same dream. Every night, he would be surrounded in darkness with Tifa crying on the rooftop. Then, he would fall, ashamed and some other emotion he could never name, with the faces of his family in his mind and he would wake up to the church. The routine made him miserable.

Cloud rolled over painfully and stared at the lilac garden._ Why do these dreams keep getting worse?_

Though the same thing kept happening, the scene and Tifa's words became more distant with each passing night, but they rang in his ears for longer and longer. Cloud took this to heart on just the thirtieth night, and ever since he'd wondered what it could mean.

It also became part of the routine that after he awoke in the middle of the night, his arm alighted every time, and he would clutch it – and it wouldn't hurt the rest of his body when he grasped it – as he curled up on his mat.

Once the pain would lessen and Cloud's mind would become clear, he would know he couldn't ever go back – the hell he called his life being the reason. He couldn't go back with one foot in the grave, only to force Tifa to work herself harder to keep two people alive.

_I can't be selfish, _he reminded himself.

Cloud would then think back to the one time Aerith appeared after he left Tifa and the children. It was the first time he thought about her, but not the last.

_It was dawn and Cloud sat outside the church, dejected and in pain. He was thankful when she came, because then he wasn't alone. However, her presence did not help him, really. Two sets of very different guilts stabbed his heart, when she appeared and when she spoke. _

_She smiled at him encouragingly, yet solemnity outlined her curved lips._ "_Why are you here, Cloud?" she asked him._

"_I ... I don't know."_

"_Why don't you go back to your family?" she offered mildly._

_Cloud lowered his shoulders in defeat. "I can't."_

"_Why not?" She asked softly._

_All her whys made him upset. He could not answer them, not even when he asked himself. He decided to get his thoughts out to her about one of the worst days of his life. Maybe that would loosen the tie of his guilt ..._

"_Aerith ... I'm sorry, I couldn't save you from–"_

"_And what do I have to do with your family?" she interrupted gently. Cloud felt himself recoil. Her words were hurting him. Couldn't she realize he was apologizing to her?_

"_They need you, Cloud," she continued, "and you need them ... More than you think you do."_

_After a second of reticence, she vanished from his consciousness, and he was alone again. He walked back inside unthinkingly, with his head hung and his soul dazed and hurting. Cloud picked a white lilac in Aerith's garden and placed it in his pocket._

Despite the truth in Aerith's words, Cloud could never bring himself to go back.

Cloud experienced the excruciating pain in his arm and remembered that morning with Aerith. He told himself he could never go back until he was all right, which wasn't going to happen. He rolled over painfully and fell asleep after what felt like a very slow minute.

Cloud had the same dream, like always, and woke up to find the church bathed in sunlight ... and he was still waiting to die.


	2. Give and Take

:**Before the Storm**:  
by Syzeria

**Chapter II_  
Give and Take  
_**

_A thousand lies have made me colder  
And I don't think I can look at this the same ..._

Tifa screamed herself awake, her eyes wide when she opened them. She found herself curled on her side, gasping for breath, her face stained with tears. Under her ear was a cold, moistened pillow. A thumping resonated through her whole head and all beneath her neck felt deprived of feeling.

She covered her eyes with her shaking hands, feeling like an innocent child. _Not real, not real ... _she reassured herself. Still, her heart wasn't hopeful as she helplessly embraced a devastating fact._ But ... it __**felt** real ..._

Moments ago, Tifa's imagination conjured up a devastating nightmare. She never thought her mind could venture into such dark waters and not seek a light in any way. Never before had she imagined his _death_.

Not only that, but Tifa was even more shocked to find he _wanted_ to die. She tried to help him, to find out what was wrong with him, but he just yelled at her, begging her to leave him alone. _I couldn't do anything,_ she cried inside as she continued to tremble under her blanket, _and he didn't want my help ..._

She remembered what happened yesterday. Reno had called in the morning, asking for Cloud. It was a struggle to mention him as lightly as Reno had, but it had given her an excuse to call Cloud. Or, that is, leave a message.

Reno had called again after a few hours, telling her to urge Cloud to hurry up. That day, she had left two messages for him, weakly hoping for a response. She got none.

Tifa returned to reality and watched her door open and two heads, half-concealed by the lack of light, squeeze through the gap.

"Tifa," the bottom head said worriedly, "what's wrong?"

"Huh?" she replied to the shadowed heads, lifting her head up as steadily as she could.

"We ... heard you scream ... Did you have a bad dream?" the second figure inquired, its voice nervous and slightly strained.

Tifa's eyes remained fixed on the small figures and her heart swelled with emotions for the two young ones. She suddenly registered the active thumping of her heart, her trembling arms wrapped around her stomach, and the subtle ringing in her ears. She sat up, pushing back her bangs with her fingers. "I ..." she hesitated, staring at their faces, half-hidden in the darkness. "Yeah, but it's nothing ... I'm sorry I woke you two."

The dark outlines shook their heads dismissively, and stifled wide yawns at the same time.

Tifa chuckled and plastered her usual cheerful smile on her face, though she was aware they probably couldn't see it. "Come, let's put you both back to bed."

The figures opened the door wide for Tifa and they walked together through the dimly lit hallway. Once they entered another room, Marlene climbed into her bed and waited expectantly, her eyes never wavering from Tifa. Denzel walked to his bed, his movements heavy as he nestled under his covers. He rubbed his forehead absentmindedly and Tifa frowned.

"How is it?" she asked him.

Denzel head turned away and nodded once dismissively, merely a slight tuck of his chin. Tifa shrugged off the familiarity of that single action and pulled the covers over the boy.

"Try your best to fall asleep," she whispered. Denzel closed his eyes and rested his head against his pillow, a hand still on his scar.

Tifa turned to Marlene and her smile faltered slightly from the look she almost couldn't see on Marlene's face. "You dream about him, Tifa." It was more a statement than a question.

Tifa smiled sadly and her cheeks felt sore. "Yes, sometimes," she whispered as she tiptoed over to Marlene's bed.

"Why don't I dream about him?" Marlene pouted.

The question made Tifa freeze, but only for a second. "Because ... because there's, something you might need to teach Cloud someday, and you'll dream about him when you have. Don't worry," Tifa smiled lazily. Her words barely made sense.

"I miss Cloud," Marlene said gloomily. Tifa leaned forward and hugged the child reassuringly.

"I do too, sweetie ... but he'll come back," Tifa said, the false optimism never wavering in her smile and tone, though it didn't quite reach her heart tonight. It was beating erratically, still half-stunned by her nightmare.

Marlene nodded and rolled over silently, breathing goodnight to Tifa. Tifa looked over at Denzel, who was staring at her with deep blue eyes.

"How do you know that, Tifa?" Denzel asked quietly. Tifa frowned to herself and headed for the door.

"He always does," she whispered to Denzel distantly, who nodded slowly and closed his eyes. Tifa returned to her room and she barely registered the cold floor under her feet as she closed her door and slipped under her thick blanket. Tifa slept under it whether the night was chilly or blazing in the atmosphere, because lately, she'd always felt a little cold.

Tifa shut her eyes and made an effort to push the nightmare out of her mind, thinking of what to cook tomorrow. Sadly, she realized there were leftovers in the fridge, and that distraction was cast aside all too easily.

What happened in her nightmare was ... almost impossible. But, her imagination couldn't _possibly_ create such a melancholic situation and make it seem so real. She curled up, her arms wrapped around her chest as she visualized him as the dream portrayed him ... lying motionless in the garden of lilacs in Aerith's church, grieving and hurting.

She shuddered from under her comforter and buried her face in her pillow, her head aching out of confusion. Her desire to remain optimistic conflicted with her doubts and worries, and she screwed up her face while making an effort to sort out her thoughts.

"He can't be gone," she reassured the pillow in an exasperated whisper. _I would know ..._

_No,_ her other state of mind contradicted, _I'm not sure you would anymore ..._ The toneless voice echoed in her head. Suddenly, Tifa had the wind knocked out of her and her heart shriveled like a fruit left to die under blazing sunlight. A piece of her heart ripped itself apart and burst into flames in her chest. She gagged and coughed wheezily from the damage just inflicted upon her, the burn inside her weakening her mind and dispersing her thoughts. The next time she regained consciousness, it was morning.

And a piece of her soul was missing.

XOXOXOXOX

Marlene hopped down the stairs, a bright smile on her face. It was as if Tifa's scream was never heard last night.

Tifa stood in the kitchen, silently stacking half a dozen pancakes on a plate. Her eyes were unfocused and once Marlene glanced at Tifa, the girl's happy mood vanished as her smile flipped into a frown. Marlene lowered her head in shame as she walked to the table.

"Good morning, Tifa," Marlene said almost, but not quite, tonelessly. She stared at her guardian expectantly. Tifa's mind drifted along a ghostly path, but then ...

"Oh - good morning, Marlene," Tifa said, pulling a smile on her face. Marlene's face brightened in a flash and she shifted into a comfortable position on her chair with a satisfied expression.

As Tifa walked around the kitchen counter and set the stack of pancakes on the table, Denzel shuffled down the stairs. Tifa had already pulled a smile on her face, so Denzel's facial features changed from anxious to ... well, a little less anxious.

"Hi," Denzel said.

"Good morning, Denzel, and _happy birthday!_" Tifa said with a smile, embracing him tenderly. She frowned in the slightest when Denzel barely returned the embrace and she walked back into the kitchen and grabbed the forks, the knives and the bottle of syrup before returning to the table.

Marlene excitedly took her fork and stabbed the pancake on the very top of the stack. Quickly, she reached out for the syrup and poured a generous amount over her pancake.

"Mmm," she hummed. Tifa chuckled lightly and looked at the motionless Denzel sitting beside her.

"Go ahead, Denzel," Tifa said, motioning toward the food with her head. Denzel shook his head and looked down at his feet.

"I'm not hungry ..." Denzel mumbled. Tifa stared at him curiously. Normally, he would be almost ecstatic over her pancakes.

"How come? I thought you loved my pancakes ..." she pouted teasingly in hopes of cheering the boy up.

"I do ... I just don't feel like eating much today ..."

Tifa stared at him anxiously. For a minute only Marlene's chewing was heard, then Tifa understood the boy's sort-of-unusual behavior.

"It's your birthday ..." Tifa breathed despairingly. Marlene's chewing stopped and both children stared at Tifa, then to each other, anxious looks on their faces.

Denzel couldn't remember his birth date when they found him, he merely recalled the month. Cloud then gave him a date (they hadn't known he was in the same room as them when it happened), and that day was today. She remembered how the Denzel's tired face lit up like the sun when he heard.

April 21st.

_Had Cloud forgotten...?_

After a long moment, Marlene gulped down her last mouthful of pancake and grabbed her plate, rushing to place it in the kitchen sink. Denzel bit his lip, looking down again. Tifa remained silent, her mind elsewhere. Incomplete thoughts strung themselves impassively in her head.

_Denzel's ... Cloud ... why ..._

"Tifa," Denzel called shyly. She lifted her head and looked at Denzel, slightly dazed.

"Maybe we could, go look ... around?" he asked.

Tifa understood the meaning of his words, yet she couldn't bring herself to respond. They'd asked her this countless times, and her thoughts always told her she might –

No, _would_ not be able to handle searching for him, and the fact that people infected with the dreadful disease roamed the streets frightened her core. She didn't want Marlene to catch it, or Denzel to see any of it.

"Denzel, why not some other time?" Marlene asked. Tifa made no effort to acknowledge Marlene's words and Marlene glared at Denzel from behind Tifa's back. Denzel recoiled in his chair and nodded apprehensively.

Snickering, Marlene pointed toward the storage closet to her left, winking and waving her hands to form the shape of a box, then widening her eyes and opening her mouth in deliberate surprise. Denzel's eyes widened and Marlene's face softened and she skipped up the stairs, humming.

Tifa remained frozen in her seat and Denzel slid off his chair inconspicuously to sneak to the storage closet. Tifa's eyes darted in his direction and she forced her more welcoming smiles to appear, kicking herself mentally for her sudden changes in behavior that surely affected the people around her. She'd tried to keep it all inside, but when they mentioned him, it became a hundred times harder to do so. Most days, she could keep herself together and then remain in her room for a silent hour to clear a secretly troubled mind. Today just wasn't one of those days.

"Denzel ..." The boy looked back at her with shy, curious eyes.

Though Denzel hadn't exactly gone through the same hardships as ... _him_, their eyes were almost identical. Only, Denzel's had more innocence in them, and _his_ held the emotions he had the most trouble showing. Tifa depended on his captivating blue eyes (she kicked herself inside again for thinking about it, though) to show how he felt. However, his glowing eyes didn't always help her out.

They certainly didn't tell her he intended on leaving, and forgetting Denzel's birthday.

Tifa shrugged away the thoughts which would lead to more depression and gestured Denzel toward her. He walked warily back to his chair, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Please eat, it's your birthday," Tifa encouraged him. He nodded slowly and stabbed his fork into a pancake and began cutting it slowly, regret and anticipation quite detectable in his movements. Tifa smiled briefly, thinking it was the pancakes, and helped herself to some food. They ate in silence, and throughout the meal Tifa's head was filled with a haze too dense for her to think straight. Which didn't really bother her.

After a seemingly ceaseless moment, Denzel stood up silently and walked into the kitchen with an empty plate in his hand. Tifa barely noticed his leaving, but frowned, ashamed she affected the children this way.

_But today_, she suddenly announced to herself, _is a special day for Denzel._ She was going to make it her mandate to not spoil it.

Besides, she knew deep down, he was still out there. She could just _feel_ him ... She'd always been able to feel him.

_He's out there, somewhere..._

Tifa heard the storage closet door creak and she couldn't help but smile. The children were really what kept her up and at it, and willing to be strong. If they weren't in her care, she might not bother about anything at all anymore.

Tifa laughed when she heard a stunned gasp from behind her and turned around to find a bounding boy running up to her and hugging her so tightly it almost felt desperate. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" The boy exclaimed, jumping up and down incessantly against her. He flashed the slim, black camera in front of them when they parted, his face astounded and zealous.

Tifa was glad and grateful Denzel was overjoyed. It wasn't easy finding the right gift for him, not with so many things out of her and her pocket's reach. Nevertheless, Tifa continued to smile, thoroughly relieved she could still make _some_ people feel better.


	3. Numb

Sorry for the long update, but for some reason I wanted to give my head a break. But I'm done relaxing, and I'd like to ask a favor from you. If you aren't already, can you pleez set this page's _background_ to **dark**, and not white? It's next to the other settings, such as font and size, by the right hand corner of this page.  
It takes more energy to make a computer screen white than a darker color. You'll help save energy for yourself and the world, so pleez just do this for me (oh, and review, too!)  
I hope you enjoy!

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:**Before the Storm**:**_  
_**_By Syzeria_

**Chapter III**_**  
Numb  
**_

_The miles just keep rolling  
As the people leave their way to say hello ..._

Cloud sat on Fenrir, looking out to the deserted land surrounding him. His phone suddenly rang, which startled him. He saw it was the Seventh Heaven –– and cringed as he saw April 19 displayed on his screen –– but he didn't have the heart to answer. After several rings, Tifa's voice sounded through the phone and Cloud's throat felt more constricted than it already was.

Her voice was impassive and, perhaps, content. He couldn't help but wonder how she could be all right, when the rest of the world surely wasn't. Tifa mentioned an offer Reno had for him, and he wanted to meet him at the Healen Lodge. He heard a carefully shielded, but still audible anxiety in Tifa's voice as she asked him how he was, and she hung up. He put his phone away, self-conscious despite the loneliness in the pit of his stomach.

Only, he couldn't really _feel_ his heart. He just felt numb, his insides like the air particles he wouldn't and couldn't ever care about.

He shrugged, doing his best to stay focused on the new task of getting to Healen Lodge, which was several hours away. Cloud reached for the handles of the bike when his left arm felt as though it ripped open for a split second. He kept it together with his right hand until the faint, lingering burn receded, and Cloud tensely clenched his jaw as he drove down the cliff.

Cloud continued to drive along the wide and endless paths of terrain and rock when two silver-haired strangers showed up on olive-hued motorbikes, summoning monsters at his direction. Cloud retaliated, careful not to move his left arm too quickly. Amidst the trailing black smoke of the creatures and the dirt clouds the attackers' bikes created, a man drove his motorcycle above Cloud's head and shot the blond man's thin glasses away with a bullet from a silver gun. Cloud felt his blood take its sweet time to trickle down the corner of his left eye. It made him feel weak. Weaker.

The pack of monsters suddenly leaped at him from all around, but then whipped around on the spot and vanished. Cloud looked around, stunned, and noticed a figure sitting on a bike, tinted olive like the others, at the top of a cliff, before the three strangers rode away with conniving smirks. Cloud stared after them with his brows low.

_Déjà-vu_, was all that ran across Cloud's mind. Suddenly, he was numb again. He barely felt himself try to shake away the lack of feeling, and his mind couldn't process emotion, thought, or fact. Cloud couldn't even wonder _why_ he suddenly stopped feeling, or pray this was but a spell.

XOXOXOXOX

Cloud was partially relieved when he spotted greenery along the horizon. Cloud was still mystified by the sudden appearance of those ominous attackers and faintly shaken by the color of their hair. They all looked familiar. Unbecomingly familiar.

As Cloud wove Fenrir along the curving dirt road leading to Healen Lodge, he received another phone call. He didn't answer it, and was glad he hadn't when he heard Tifa's voice again.

"_... Be careful,_" was all Cloud heard her say.

He walked up the stairs and opened the door of the circular building, clasping his palm around the hilt of his sword and swinging it forward carelessly, clashing with a slick night stick.

"Uroyaa!" a man with loud, red hair called out. He ran out the door in a ridiculous fashion and stumbled to a stopped before looking back with a dumbfounded grunt. If Cloud hadn't felt so hollow, he might have laughed some as he shut the door in the man's face.

XOXOXOXOXOX_  
_

_Two days later ..._

Cloud solemnly thought of the day he had missed out on. The sun was just beginning to set above the mountain, splashing slivers of gold across the pale sky.

Today was Denzel's birthday. April 21st.

He wished he could be home to see the boy smile.

Cloud sat on the edge of a rocky hill, unthinkingly reapplying a clean bandage around his arm. An already used bandage lay next to him, stained by a black substance and dirt.

Cloud rested there for what felt like an hour after he was done wrapping his arm in a fresh bandage. The silence of the evening left Cloud's consciousness to roam free along the darkest regions of his mind.

_What will happen when I die?_ Cloud asked himself. He thought of Tifa, Denzel, and Marlene living on after his death. The word _death_ echoed in his mind, but he didn't recoil or shiver.

_Tifa will be living on._ That was as far as his mind would go._ Marlene will continue to grow up, becoming more like Tifa with each passing day together. And Denzel ..._

Cloud quickly shook his head, frowning to himself. _I guess it won't matter ... _he decided simply.

He stood up silently and walked to his bike, his head hung and his eyes despondent.

XOXOXOXOXOX

Cloud glanced at his watch with uneasy eyes. It was nearly midnight, but still April 21st. The dream he woke up from moments ago was the usual one, only he _failed_ to hear Tifa's voice.

Cloud's brow knitted worriedly as he gritted his teeth and tried to remember what Tifa's voice sounded like. But he couldn't.

_What **do**__ I still have?_ He wondered as he sat up and winced slightly from his aching arm. The first times he'd had that dream, he had wished he couldn't hear the sadness her voice. Eventually, he didn't want to hear it at all. Now that he couldn't hear it, he felt lost. There was no soft voice that would speak to him, if only at night.

There was no one to speak to.

And he had missed Denzel's birthday. If it had been only an hour before midnight, he could have still been on time.

... But ... being on time wasn't something he'd been able to do lately. Cloud wasn't sure he would have taken the opportunity anyway. He didn't take it yesterday ...

Abruptly, the sound of scraping metal echoed around and through the church and Cloud jumped up. He grabbed the sword on the floor next to him and sprinted out the doors of the church. He scanned the area carefully even before his feet landed on the dirt, but no one was there.

He sighed and sank to his knees, but began to collapse, and he straightened his arms to press his hands against the ground.

He _wanted_ someone to be there.

Cloud stood up slowly, leaning against his sword for support. He tried to walk back inside in the church, but his feet wouldn't move. He remained there, unsuccessfully forcing himself to go inside. After a long moment of mental strain, Cloud surrendered to his subconscious wish that begged him to _go elsewhere_. He staggered backward, his mind bleary. His vision alternated from focused to hazy, and back again. He felt thoughts encircling a haze which consumed his mind, unable to break through in fear of getting lost, and what may be within the fog.

Senselessly, he turned around and took broad steps in the direction of Fenrir, parked a little way behind him. Without deliberating, without a destination in the front of his mind, he started the engine and drove away, the rumbling of the engine loudly disturbing the night.

* * *

Alright, so in case you're a bit confused with the trail of events of this story, here's a time line for you.

_April 17th -_ One hundred days for Cloud (Chapter I, before ACC starts, close to midnight)

_April 19th -_ Tifa's phone calls, mysterious trio (Chapters III, during ACC, late morning)

_April 20th -_ Tifa's nightmare (Chapter II, during ACC, past midnight)

_April 21st -_ Denzel's birthday with Tifa (Chapter II, during ACC, morning), Cloud's thoughts about death and his dream without voices (Chapter III, during ACC, evening and minutes away from midnight)

And ... we're _here_ right now. _April 22nd_, it's a little past midnight, and Cloud's driving somewhere. Can you guess where?  
Pleez leave a review, it'll be greatly appreciated.

PS: I hoped you used a dark background while reading this! : )


	4. Depth in Silence

A.N: In case we've forgotten, under this is the updated time line. Today in the story is April 22nd.

_April 17th -_ One hundred days for Cloud (Chapter I, before ACC, close to midnight)

_April 19th -_ Tifa's phone calls, mysterious trio (Chapters III, ACC, late morning)

_April 20th -_ Tifa's nightmare (Chapter II, ACC, past midnight)

_April 21st -_ Denzel's birthday with Tifa (Chapter II, ACC, morning), Cloud's thoughts about death and his dream without voices (Chapter III, during ACC, evening and minutes away from midnight)

And ... we're here right now. _April 22nd_, a little past midnight, and Cloud's just arrived at that **somewhere**.  
I'm a sucker for reviews, so please leave one. I swear I'll reply. =)

* * *

**Before the Storm  
**By Syzeria

**Chapter IV**  
**:Depth in Silence:**

_I've heard this life is overrated  
But I hope that it gets better as we go ..._

Cloud's cheekbone banged against slick metal and he jumped up from his leaning position, his spiritless eyes suddenly igniting with energy and shock. He slipped off what he was sitting on—just realizing it was Fenrir—and the left side of his body collided against cold, hard asphalt. A pained noise rumbled out of his throat as he winced and rolled over onto his other—and better—side.

He abruptly pushed himself up into a sitting position with his good hand, his eyes still shining with bewilderment. Cloud stared at a shadowed building, its silhouette dimly lit by the quiet moonlight. He stared at the single door before him and felt his bones melting and his stomach twist awkwardly once he looked up at the sign. _Seventh Heaven. _

He had forced himself to stay away from here for so long ...

Absentmindedly, his hand gently brushed the lilac inside his pocket as he deliberated feebly, though the decision had, in truth, already been made.

He stood up slowly, his face impassive and his lips flat and inexpressive. But his eyes shone brighter than the light stolen from the sun, in fleeting fear and growing anticipation. When Cloud jerked back to reality, his hand was resting on a doorknob.

_... Just be silent,_ Cloud told himself as he turned the knob. He nearly jumped back in alarm; the door was unlocked.

Cloud refused to think perhaps they left the door unlocked _for_ him as he pushed it open.

The bar room was dark, its walls layered with a sort of hidden grief that made him feel supremely uneasy. He closed the door behind him, took a step off the mat laid by the door, and his shoes made a knocking noise that nearly echoed. The floorboards under him creaked noisily and his brows knitted in concern. _Had he gotten heavier? _

Careful not to shift his feet too quickly, Cloud removed his boots and his lighter feet padded almost silently across the room. His pace was very slow, and hesitance made each step keep its distance from the levels of a normal pace.

If anyone woke, he would have to run out the door before they saw him. He didn't move an inch further until he was more than half-certain he _really_ would.

Cloud continued his slow and uncertain pace as he climbed the stairs leading to the second floor. He froze on the last step when he heard a strange noise. A moan echoed around him and clutched at everything, forcefully inserting pain and fright and pity-for-the-unknown into the very fibres of his body.

Cloud got up and walked as silently as he could to the door of the only room he had eyes for at the moment. The door stood ajar and Cloud peered through the small gap. His eyes softened when he saw a small boy sleeping on a mattress, under a thick blanket. The fact the figure was sleeping under a thick blanket concerned Cloud—he was quite warm himself without two sleeves—and he leaned in more intently, his hair pressing against the doorway.

_I should go ... should go ... should go ..._ Cloud's mind pleaded over and over in time to the heavy swaying of his heart and the subtle pounding in his mind, powerful enough to echo through the rest of his body in a wrenching and pitiful vibration.

Swallowing, he pushed the door open slowly, letting out a relieved sigh as he did. The heavy sway inside him did not diminish, the echo didn't weaken, but it didn't matter so much. He had come near the children at last, and he felt much better around them.

Through the darkness, Cloud's eyes poured over the sleeping boy. However, as he moved closer, he saw the boy wasn't sleeping soundly. The pillow was worn and it was stained with liquid Cloud wouldn't name. Then, Cloud saw the dried tear lines on the child's pale skin, all drifting apart in different directions on his face, making him seem as a shattered portrait. Cloud hung his head in realization as the sleeping child knitted his brows in discomfort.

A part of him begged, writhed and shook from the will to leave and never come back. That part knew he was going to feel pain, much pain, soon.

The knowledge never really left him.

Then, that other part begged for the strength to complete an unfinished task. Slipping his hand in his pocket, Cloud retrieved a small metal ring with a wolf's head on it, nestling next to the lilac.

Cloud knelt down before the sleeping child and slipped the band around the boy's small finger. The ring was far too big, but Cloud feebly hoped the boy would grow big enough for it to fit one day.

"Happy Birthday, Denzel," Cloud murmured despairingly. Dipping his head forward, his eye caught a flash of moonlight off of something on the boy's bedside table.

_A camera? _

Cloud picked it up and, after looking around to find no one awake, turned it on and anxiously switched to the picture gallery.

The first picture shone bright in contrast to the dark room. It was of Marlene brushing her teeth in front of the mirror, white and creamy toothpaste oozing from her mouth and down the corners of her small lips. Her eyes twinkled with anticipation in an excitement to see the finished product. Cloud switched to the next picture and couldn't stop a frail and soft smile. Marlene had gotten toothpaste on her shirt and she looked down at the stain in disbelief. At the side of the mirror was a laughing boy holding the camera. Cloud's eyes softened, it was good Denzel could still smile the way a child ought to.

Cloud continued to look through the gallery, but the pictures became all but better from the first. Cloud saw children on the street, hiding from the light in a narrow alley, a construction site, even the Midgar monument—and they were ignored by the blurred lower bodies of people savoring an early spring walk through the city. The frail kids were all stained and sad and lost—not a single one smiled. Cloud could no longer look through any more pictures, and turned the camera off and put it back on the table.

With an uneasy and even guilty shudder, he stood up and stared at the other bed on the other side of the room, but walked out. His job was done, he should go. _Marlene would probably hear me if I move too close,_ he justified.

As Cloud walked passed his room and began passing by the last, his body was struck by an invisible lightning and he could not move. Did he have something else to do...?

Almost scared, Cloud backed up a quarter of a dozen steps and stopped beside a closed door. Stealthily, Cloud opened it.

The room he saw was breathtakingly clean and it smelled so fresh, so quaint. His eyes could not resist landing on another sleeping figure, lying silently on a mattress and taking soothing breaths.

Though her eyes were closed, they were slightly swollen. Cloud's hands were clenched into fists against his sides. He was angry. At himself, and a little at her, too—but mostly at himself.

When did Tifa ever _cry_...? When the reason was not powerful enough, she would never shed a tear.

_It's my fault, _Cloud thought._  
_

Cloud surprised himself as he practically glided down over to the side of her bed, gazing at her intently with regret and sadness engulfing his mind. Tifa's nose crinkled and she shifted. At that moment, Cloud was frozen. Lost. He didn't know what to do, or even if he should do anything.

Cloud was surprised when Tifa sniffed curiously. She gasped lightly, her eyes still closed.

"Cloud ...?" she whispered. Without warning, her palms painstakingly gripped the bed sheets, despair entwining her fingers like her ring did. The twin of the ring he gave Denzel moments ago.

Cloud swiftly placed a hand on her tensed wrist. He was about to withdraw in bewilderment, but Tifa's grip relaxed on the sheets. Slowly, he withdrew his hand, relaxing when she remained as peaceful as a sleeping garden.

He suddenly noticed she smelled of tears, and he frowned. He didn't like her tears. He didn't like anyone's tears, for that matter. Every drop could burn a hole through his heart and his heart could shrivel up as slowly as a wilting flower.

He didn't know what he was doing tonight. Eventually, his normal behavior would kick in and he would leave. However, until then, he would remain here. And for her to subconsciously know he was near made Cloud's heart soften a little. _Maybe, if I stay, she will be all right ..._

Cloud abruptly backed away and shook his head until his back collided roughly with the wall behind him. He sat down, exhausted, yet his mind was still active. It wondered, protested, and deteriorated ever so slightly.

He knew he couldn't stay. Staying would only hurt them all in the end. Still, he didn't want to be away from them either. Then again, he also wanted to ... to not _be_ anymore. Living shouldn't be this difficult, this lonely.

_What was the point of living if it was?_

Moreover, being part of the Lifestream meant being with Zack and Aerith. His heart sank along with his head. Confused, guilty, hopeless. Whatever happened to 'not dwelling on the dead'?

Cloud sighed. He had been what felt like dying slowly from his own hand for the past few months, but how long would it take until he was finally dead?

His stare at the floor altered from focused to bleary. He was exhausted and confused. All these unresolved conflicts were too much for his mind to be burdened with. As his vision faltered, it became a battle. Or many battles. He fought the urge to leave, his intention of falling asleep, even the distant and suicidal thought in his mind.

Suddenly, Tifa shifted so her back faced him and Cloud's head shot up. He stared at her back, then glanced at his watch, squinting when his vision failed. It was nearly three o'clock in the morning. Cloud shook himself feebly, shrugging as he stood up.

His mind suddenly felt surrounded and filled by a dense haze through which no thoughts could seep through. He stepped closer to Tifa's bed, his eyes unfocused.

He barely knew what to think anymore. The only things he was certain of were he was dying, slowly, and he should leave soon. Those two thoughts merely touched the unwelcome yet unbeatable fog clouding his consciousness. Cloud fumbled with the flower in his pocket. Without making the conscious decision to move at all, he lowered himself to his knees. He inhaled with exhaustion and smelled tears. It made him frown again. Had she _always_ smelt like tears?

His finger lazily teased a lilac pedal and he took the flower out of its dark confines, placing it on Tifa's bedside table, adjacent to her alarm clock. The reason behind it evaded Cloud's logic, unable to pass through the fog and into his consciousness.

With a dragging pace, Cloud left the room and walked down the stairs. He felt cold and empty, except for the feeble crawling sensation he felt in his arm.

Cloud put his shoes back on and opened the front door, sending a distant backward glance at the stairs hidden within an inky black darkness. He closed the door silently behind him with despondent eyes and walked to his bike.

Cloud started the engine and woke abruptly from his sleepwalker's state. He shook his head clear of all thoughts as he focused on making the least amount of noise as he drove away.

Though ... he couldn't recall _why_ he had to be silent. Same as how he couldn't remember the soundless bar in the distance behind him with a fragile flower lying on a bedside table.


	5. Miracle

So sorry for the long time it took to do this :( Because I've taken so long to update, here's a quick re-cap of the story:

This takes place between CoT and ACC. Cloud is having nightmares, tormented by the corner he is trapped in by darkness and sickness. His Geostigma is constantly reminding him of why he cannot remain with his family. Tifa is bearing the absence of Cloud and, despite her efforts, leaves an effect on Denzel and Marlene. Still, she got Denzel an expensive camera for his made-up birthday (because he had forgotten the date, so Cloud just made one up) and tries her best to conceal her emotions when Cloud does not come to celebrate Denzel's resulting melancholic birthday. That night, however, Cloud indeed comes. He checks on everyone when they're all asleep (gives Denzel a wolf ring with the hope that he will grow up and protect his family when Cloud cannot), but stops in Tifa's room and watches her sleep (perhaps creepy, but I sympathize with the man). Completely sleep-deprived from his re-occurring nightmares, Cloud unconsciously leaves one of Aerith's lilacs on Tifa's bedside table, before leaving. He never realizes what he did as he speeds off back to isolation. And now ... Tifa wakes up the following morning.  
This is, still, based on the song _Here Without You _by 3 Doors Down.

Thank you so much for still wanting to read this, those that haven't heard from this story in such a long time! I really appreciate it :) Love notes to you all!

* * *

**Before the Storm**  
_Chapter V: Miracle_  
By Syzeria

Tifa crinkled her nose and slowly opened her eyes. Something was different.

Her room ... it smelled different. It surprised her, because it was usually just her in her room, except the occasional nights when Marlene and Denzel would come into her room after she woke them with a nightmare-ridden scream. Come to think of it, the last time they came in was only two nights ago.

There was also a strange beeping noise. It was beginning to get on her nerves.

Tifa rubbed her eyes groggily, head turning against her pillow, registering the loud ringing of her alarm clock. Without opening her eyes, she automatically reached out to smack it. Her fingers brushed against what felt like the softest tissue as she withdrew her hand. She rubbed her eyes again, a curious scent filling her nose. She immediately thought of Aerith.

Tifa opened her eyes in surprise and sat up, eyes flashing down at her hand. She sniffed her fingers, and it definitely smelled like flowers. The scent was identical to Aerith's.

She shook herself clear from thinking any deeper as she cast her eyes on her alarm clock.

**5:30 a.m.**

But what caught her attention was the pale white flower resting by her clock.

Tifa lifted her head curiously and picked up the delicate flower with a gentle hand. She brought it up to her nose and inhaled its calming aroma. Tifa immediately thought of Aerith's church and the small pool of flowers. She wondered if she was dreaming, because the lilac alone wasn't what made her room different this morning.

Tifa looked around her room. Her nose caught different smells that seemed to have mixed together through time. There was dirt, which was strange, but there was more to it. Lightening and cool winds came to her mind and her eyes grew wide with disbelief.

Her room smelled like Cloud.

She bounced up, pushing her hair back from her face. She leaped off her bed and burst through the door she was sure she hadn't closed last night.

Her bare feet slapped against the cold floor that sent shivers down her spine, but Tifa ignored it. She ran immediately to the bedroom on her left, opening the door and sticking her head through the opening, her head a shining beacon amidst the unoccupied space. The room was empty.

Tifa crinkled her nose at the sight of the accumulating dust on the surfaces of the abandoned bedroom. Admittedly, Tifa had cleaned the room sparingly, as despair hung over her chest as she had swept the dust off the surfaces. When Cloud came home, his first job would be to clean his _own_ room.

She turned around, irritated yet curious, and ran in the opposite direction to where the children slept. She swung the door wide and startled Marlene into consciousness. But other than the children, the room was empty. Tifa bit her lip and raced down the stairs, sprinting into the kitchen. Empty.

She turned around and sprinted to the garage. Ignoring her truck and Cloud's stray tools, the space was empty.

She even checked the storage closet and the basement. All empty.

The only thing that had altered in the house was the air. It had been so long since her home last smelled this good, yet hung so still in time as it waited for a member of its abode to return. Even though he wasn't here now, the hope in her heart stopped her from falling onto her knees and letting a rare tear fall. _He came ..._

XxXxXxXxXxX

Tifa found herself sitting on the edge of her mattress with the flower pressed gently to her chest. He had left the flower. What left her unsure was the reason he had come without saying anything.

"It must have been a message," Tifa riveted at the thought.

_Did he want her to find him...?_

Whether he did or not, Tifa stood up with an unstoppable grin. It was possible he was there ... right now. It was possible he wanted to come home to them, but just didn't know how.

It occurred to her she was crumpling the flower in her hand, and she placed the delicate treasure in her pocket.

Marlene came into the room, her eyes curious and her lips pressed together disapprovingly. Tifa bounced, surprising both of them, to Marlene and hugged her tightly, as if she were sharing her hope and wonder with the young, oblivious girl.

"Tifa ... are you okay?" Marlene asked cautiously. Tifa smiled, and her face felt illuminated.

"What's going on?" the little girl inquired. Tifa breathed in and out loudly to calm herself, but despite her efforts, her heart kept on racing. She didn't think of the possible disappointment, depression and heartbreak that might hit her square in the chest if things were not how she expected. Her mind was too happily alert to think of anything upsetting.

"Let's go to the church," Tifa suggested. Marlene tilted her head in curiosity and suspicion.

"Really? Why?" Marlene piped up, hands clasped together in front of her.

"Oh," Tifa mused, "I just thought it might be a good place to start _looking_," she answered with a secretive smile.

Marlene beamed and her hazel eyes glinted. Tifa never agreed to searching around the city for Cloud, despite the gleam in the children's eyes that always appeared with mentioning it. She couldn't risk losing control of her emotions in case anything happened, or didn't happen. If the searches could always leave them empty handed, it was not worth the risk of breaking the walls she had set up carefully over the time of his ... absence.

This adventure could've been a second present for Denzel's birthday.

"You mean it?" Marlene squeaked with excitement. Tifa nodded and the little girl jumped up and ran to her room.

"Denzel! Wake up! We're going to find Cloud!" Tifa smiled at Marlene's words, despite herself.

Suddenly, Denzel moaned, which sent Tifa running. She ran through the door and found Marlene staring wide-eyed at Denzel, who had his hands pressed firmly against his forehead. His eyes were shut tight and his neck was beaded with sweat. Dirty, cloudy sweat. Tifa's lips quivered for a second before she headed to the other side of the room, snatched the towel on the dresser, then almost flew back to Denzel's side.

Quickly, she dabbed the sweat off his face and neck. After setting the towel down, she could only wait until Denzel's pain subsided. It took longer than usual, but Denzel finally let go of his head and fell asleep. Tifa didn't dare wake him. Looking around, Tifa notices a ring on Denzel's bedside. Her eyes expanded as she gazed at the wolf carvings on the semi-gaudy jewelry. Cloud's doing written all over it, Tifa's stomach turned as she thought of how to explain the ring while Denzel was asleep. A thought occurring, she took a pen and a torn sheet of paper, and began scribbling down a small note.

_Denzel, _  
_If you're still not feeling well, go outside and relax to help clear your head, or watch TV. _

_..._

Tifa paused, wondering how she could break it to him they were going to 'look' around, and the meaning behind the ring. After a minute of deep thinking, Tifa resumed her writing.

_Marlene and I have to go out for a while. We won't be gone too long, and there's food for you in the kitchen. The ring is another present for you. I, _she faltered in her scribble, _found it last night. If it's too big on you, wear it on a string as a necklace. Take care and don't talk to anyone outside. We'll be back in the afternoon._

_Love,_  
_Tifa_

Wine-colored eyes read the note carefully, making sure there weren't any clear hints of where they were going. She sighed when she reached the end and placed the note, ring and pen on the table, before running down the stairs to make Denzel something light for his delicate stomach.

An hour later, Marlene was tapping her foot impatiently by Tifa's door, her arms crossed scornfully as she stared at Tifa's back. Tifa took a deep breath and forcibly pushed the short metallic wire through her earlobe. Her ear burned and Tifa winced, biting her lip as she pinched her earring shut with the clasp. It has been over two weeks since she last put on her earring, and the adrenaline pumping through her veins didn't let her think about putting ointment on her ear before stabbing her earring into place.

"Tee-faa, let's go!" Marlene whined loud enough so only Tifa could hear.

"Just a second, sweetie," Tifa said through gritted teeth. Since when had something this small given her this much pain?

Tifa shook her head back and forth as they went down the stairs, trying to ease the burning sensation. She wove around the tables and chairs, and opened the door for Marlene. Tifa glanced back into the bar, countless emotions crammed inside her. Marlene tugged on Tifa's wrist and woke the woman from her frozen state. She closed the door and locked it, before turning around and taking Marlene's hand in hers.

The little girl giggled brightly. "We're going to find Cloud!" Marlene announced for the umpteenth time, swinging their clasped hands back and forth in the air as they walked alongside the road. Tifa smiled and nodded in agreement. She was full of anticipation, though she was now wary inside as well. The lily in her pocket was there for a reason, she knew that. During the last couple of months, Tifa forced herself to lodge her hope in her throat, never to sink or surface from under her mask. Yet hope and possibility had presented itself that morning and now Tifa's walls of protection from hope and sadness were torn down. Her body felt lighter, if only slightly.

"Oh boy, the church," Marlene chirped. "That's where Cloud found Denzel!" Tifa's step faltered in the slightest, before regaining its usual pace.

_... And maybe where we'll find him._

Tifa nodded and quickened her pace, determination in her step. She was going to find him and bring him home.

XxXxXxXxXxX

It took much more time than Tifa had anticipated to find the Great Gospel Church amidst the rubble, the splintered metal and broken buildings in Sector Five. Tifa's heart swelled when they found it at last and she and Marlene ran without a second thought to the concrete church. It truly was a safe haven, so perhaps Cloud had chosen to reside in this abandoned shelter.

Tifa froze with her hand about to push the heavy door. Reality came crashing down on her, leaving her consciousness separated from the rest of her body.

_What if he won't come home? What if he just doesn't want us anymore? What if his memory is what he wants? What if -_

"Tifa, open the door! I want to go inside!" Marlene cried, tugging at the woman's shorts. Tifa couldn't hear Marlene's complaints. She was caught between the raging war of doubts and possibilities in her mind.

_He left without a word ..._

He needed a way to figure things out alone––

_You don't even know what he's worrying about ..._

Well, I'll help him!

_But he might push you away ..._

Don't let him–-

Tifa gasped and brought her hand up to cover her eyes. She felt tears coming and she shook her head forcefully, holding herself back.

"Tifa?"

Tifa wrapped her arms around herself and felt something collide with her hip. It was warm and a little comforting. She put one hand on Marlene's head and the other back on the door's wood surface.

_No matter what,_ she thought sternly_, we are going to face this as a family ..._

Brows knitted and face set, Tifa registered Marlene's voice. "Teee-faaa?"

Tifa shook her head lightly and she felt her jaw relax a little, though her eyebrows were still pulled close to her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she pushed the door open and took a step forward. Marlene dashed inside, breathing fast, as Tifa took in the smell of flowers, lightening and cold winds.

_Everything I know  
And anywhere I go  
It gets hard but it wont' take away my love  
When it's all said and done  
It gets hard but it won't take away my love_


	6. Tifa's Reunion

OK, so this is the final chapter. I've had trouble fitting an ending to this but I tried my best. Because I've taken so long to update, here's a quick re-cap of the story:

This takes place between CoT and ACC. Cloud is having nightmares, tormented by the corner he is trapped in by darkness and sickness. His geostigma is constantly reminding him of why he cannot remain with his family. Tifa is bearing the absence of Cloud and, despite her efforts, affects Denzel and Marlene. Still, she got Denzel an expensive camera for his made-up birthday (because he had forgotten the date, so Cloud just made one up) and tries her best to conceal her emotions when Cloud does not come to celebrate Denzel's resulting melancholic birthday. That night, however, Cloud indeed comes. He checks on everyone when they're all asleep (gives Denzel a wolf ring with the hope that he will grow up and protect his family when Cloud cannot), but stops in Tifa's room and watches her sleep (perhaps creepy, but I sympathize with the man).

Completely sleep-deprived from his re-occurring nightmares, Cloud unconsciously leaves one of Aerith's lilacs on Tifa's bedside table before leaving. He never realizes what he did as he speeds off back to isolation. Tifa wakes up the next morning and finds the lilac. She's filled with hope and decides she should go and find him. _Maybe he's asking if he can come home to them,_ she thinks. Denzel is sick from geostigma so Tifa and Marlene head to the church without him. I skipped the fighting part because it's way cooler to watch the movie part than to read my adaptation. Now, Tifa's awake again but she's not feeling the same way as she was before coming to the church.

* * *

**Before the Storm**  
_Chapter VI: Tifa's Reunion_  
By Syzeria

XxXxXxXxX

Her eyesight was awful and gave her a splitting headache. That strange man with the short silver hair was strong and almost supernatural. She thought she had won when she threw him into the heap of wooden benches and caused whirls of dust to fill the church. She thought she still had some strength left in her, to have been able to beat her unknown enemy with only a bruise or two and dirt smudged on her skin and clothes. Before the fight, he kept asking her where his mother was, and she thought he was a lunatic. How could she have known where his mom was?

Maybe it would have been better for her if she had known though. When he supposedly came back to life from under the split benches and was inches away from Marlene, her heart stopped and she was too slow to evade his attack. When he slammed her against the pillar, she was thankful that Marlene was safe_, _but ... she wished Cloud had been there.

Tifa's eyes fluttered open and she noticed her back was propped up on something warm and solid. A gloved hand was wrapped around her shoulder and her stomach felt as though it was tearing before she could see golden hair above her. Tifa's heart pounded harder against her chest but this wasn't the meeting she had wanted. The hope she had felt a while ago was gone, and it had left too soon and too quickly for her to handle it properly. She frowned slightly, even though she was happy to see those blonde spikes. Her vision strengthened and she turned her head away painfully. She stared at the lilacs surrounding them and muttered with strain: "You're late." A tear slid down her cheek and left a circular stain on the man's black pants.

Cloud's eyes were intense and unreadable and his voice was hoarse. "Who did this?"

Tifa sighed and admitted inwardly that she was slightly disappointed in herself and in Cloud. "Someone I don't know," she mumbled. Her head suddenly brought her back to the night in Nibelhiem, when Sephiroth went mad and nearly killed her. Cloud had mysteriously showed up and he was sorry for coming late. She was happy to see him though, and perhaps she managed to survive the wounds because her hero had come back for her.

Today, her heart was bitter towards Cloud and she couldn't bring herself to feel guilty. The Cloud holding her now was not the same as the one in Nibelhiem. The Tifa she was today was different than her old self, but she felt just as weak.

"Marlene!" She suddenly exclaimed with total realization. _Where was she ...? Did he ... take her away ..._

Tifa's head felt heavy and she fell back onto Cloud. Her attention shifted between consciousness and nothingness, but when she felt more alert she heard gasps and a sickening sound from the man holding her. Her mind tried to resurface but her head collided with the ground as Cloud fell onto his side.

When Tifa's consciousness finally rose from blackness, she found Cloud's sleeping face directly in front of hers. They lay in the pool of flowers and Tifa's heart didn't feel so heavy anymore. Maybe it was the dizziness that was making her head spin a little, but the bitterness inside her against herself and Cloud's ridiculous absence was subsiding slightly. She was just glad she had found him now.

Only ... he wasn't the same. His tone had been cold and he didn't seem at all happy to see her. Tifa remembered the bandage she found with Marlene and her blurry eyes glanced at Cloud's single sleeve. He was asleep, so he couldn't stop her from peaking. When he was still around at home he was so secretive ...

Tifa pulled the sleeve back gently and quickly let go of it before she pulled it to his shoulder.

_That's why he ran away, _she realized with a breaking heart. How could she have let this slip past her without any clue? His terrible sleeping patterns and moods before he left. His hopeless gaze on her and the children. This was the answer to the depressing puzzle.

Tifa's stomach lurched as emotions filled her. She was angry that he left to succumb to the disease in total isolation, but she was unbearably sad that he didn't ask for help from anyone. Tifa moaned and buried her face into the grass and the sweet smell of flowers.

"It's doesn't matter right now," she decided. "We've just got to stick together." Tifa lifted her head weakly and watched him breathing softly without any pain. His peacefulness was lulling her back to sleep.

"Cloud ..."

Her neck went limp and she fell back into unconsciousness, hoping things would turn out all right.

* * *

A.N: That did _not_ take long to write. I'll admit with a disappointed face, I'm not incredibly happy with this one. The ride was fun, but this last chapter was just ... meh.

This story was a while back and I tried to piece my ideas together, but in the end ... I realized that this was all just my musing about what happened in the beginning of the movie. I think some people were expecting much more, perhaps more of an original context, but that wasn't the point. If you didn't like it, that's OK. :) Whether you did or didn't, review and tell me what you think.

Thanks for reading!


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